Stepping Stones

When getting married, two independent souls, lives, and habits are intertwined together. Lucky for me, I knew my husband for six years before we got married. I felt I knew everything about my husband. We had been through countless experiences, circumstances, and stages in life together. We knew each other so well that it came to a point in our courtship that if we did not progress, we would regress. We decided to take the plunge. Transitioning into marriage was so smooth for us. I did not know I could experience the happiness that I have thus far. Marrying Carson was the best decision I have ever made.

Now that we are married, we are presented with opportunities to discuss what we want for our own families. Naturally, two people come into marriage with different opinions and habits--no two people are the same (take it from an identical twin). Even though we had known each other for years before we got married, we are still different and we were raised differently. Those differences make it exciting and fun! Unfortunately, some people can really struggle with this. As discussed in class, different situations call for different strategies for dealing with the differences. 

A small example: Eating Dinner. For four years, I have been in college doing my own thing for dinner each day. I often multitasked, attempting to conquer many things at once. I did not realize I did this. Carson loves to enjoy dinner with little distraction. I know it really means a lot to Carson when we sit down and enjoy dinner together without homework, the phone, the tv, or other distractions. 

I had decisions. A. Be stubborn, defensive, or combative and refuse to change this little habit.  
B. Ignore the differences. C. Address the issue and make the necessary changes. Even though there are many excuses and reasons for not eating dinner together without distractions, I know it means a lot to him, so I will do it. 

I did not try and compromise or compete. Instead, I decided to do dinner his way. Guess what? I like it better. Although, it requires a conscious effort on my part, I prefer his way. Our dinners are a time we can enjoy heartfelt and engaging conversations. Besides, he is the most important thing to me and by doing these little things that mean so much to him. We are both benefiting. Look what I would have missed out if I attempted to resolve this difference another, more hard-headed way? 

I see these opportunities as a chance for growth rather than conflict. The way we manage decisions and conflicts, can either make the differences/trials that will naturally arise in marriage a stepping-stone or a stumbling block.

May we always strive to make our challenges stepping-stones rather than stumbling blocks.