Children of God

Dean Cox is a servant leader. Simply by volunteering to present during class (AGAIN) exemplified his loving, charitable nature. He lives what he teaches.

I really try not to get really heated or upset because I HATE the way it makes me feel. I try not to make assumptions and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I believe people are innately good. However, there is one thing that can get me worked up and that is when someone seriously/spitefully hurts a loved one of mine. I lose it. My blood starts boiling and I go in defensive mode. At these times, I can show more emotion than an actor in a gladiator movie:

Jack and Jill (names changed obviously) are the only two people that I can think of that have REALLY tried my patience because of the way they have repeatedly torn me or someone I love most apart. At one point, I almost felt paralyzed by my anger. Hatred is a disease that will slowly and painfully kill the possessor. Every time I thought of these two individuals, I would get upset and angry. Every time I let those emotions take over, it was as if I was injecting a drop of a lethal poison into my body.  I learned from a young age that I will never be able to control others, I can only control myself.  I had to change my heart. I did. 

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Sometimes we are required to take the higher road. We are required to step up and be mature. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Everyone was raised differently. Some have overcome tremendous trials to be standing where they are when you meet them. We must go to the roots to truly understand the fruits. There are reasons people are the way that they are and we must not overlook those reasons. If we are so quick to judge, we are less able to love.  

The best way, in my opinion, is to think of them as little children...

Knowing that we are children of God means that we are all of divine heritage. We are all Children of God with astounding potential and promise. We must remember that the Lord can heal each of us and make us better. 

When we treat others the way they rightfully deserve (whether they do or not) we will aid in their process of becoming their best selves (Hawthorne Effect). Ultimately we all want to be loved. We all are fighting to belong. Some just do it more "graceful and bearable" than others. We must see other people as they may become, not as they are. When we do this, it is easier to love and to forgive. 

It is interesting because I already strive to do this with my loved ones. I can tell you that it makes a WORLD of difference to change the perspective. when I think of them in their truest potential, I want to do nothing but lift them up and serve them. My husband and my five family members are six people I cannot live without. It is easy to be the hardest on those you love most. Put away the microscope that searches for the minor faults and weaknesses and LOVE.  The love I feel for them blossoms and grows tremendously each day. 

 When we serve, we love.

“The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls”

-President Kimball

A Rung of Opportunity

The Lord has recently given me MANY opportunities to learn and to grow. Two months ago, I married my best friend. He is everything I could ask for in a husband. Many opportunities are as a result of marriage alone. I live fairly close to my family and thus I am able to see them a lot at this time in my life. I do not know what the future holds and I am grateful for this opportunity I get to spend time with loved ones. I am a current student at BYU, a university that opens up MANY opportunities--academically, career-wise, religiously, etc.  

However, I would like to discuss an opportunity that has recently surfaced and, as a result, opened my eyes to how subtly and quickly our lives can change if we take ahold of the opportunities placed in front of us! 

Needless to day, opportunity has been on my mind A LOT this week because... I have good news!

I will back up.

On Tuesday, I had six interviews with principals from all over Utah County.  I skipped my classes and drove to Orem High School. 

"THE BULL PEN"

 I checked in and took a seat in one of the rows of chairs where other competitors (recent/potential graduates) were sitting.  These were all well-qualified applicants looking for intern/teaching positions. Utah County is one of the most competitive areas in the country to get an internship and a teaching job. (High Supply, Low Demand=Lower pay, Less opportunity). People were nervously chattering and scoping out the competition.  A lot of futures were on the line and many families were relying on this to be their source of income. Ahead of us were over a dozen round tables with principals from nearly every secondary school in Utah County.  These principals were looking to hire as soon as possible.  Competition existed between the schools and the applicants. 

One by one, the principals would come to the front and call an applicant's name to interview. Each interview lasted 10-15 minutes. (aka we had 10 minutes to show our potential employer why we are the one they are looking for!) Every 20 minutes I was meeting with a different principal. 

The Lord helped me tremendously. I was calm, confident, and excited. I was able to articulate my words and effectively answer questions under pressure. My Dad helped me organize my accomplishments into a rockin-resume. 

I came to find out that most of the schools were junior highs. For some reason, high school was more my style. (Many of you may be thinking, why would you do either? look below. ). To my dismay, I discovered there was only ONE HIGH SCHOOL hiring. [Another is debating about hiring (the one I interviewed with last week).] Many applicants were trying to convince me that Junior High was where it was at because the odds were slim to none to do high school. I was very impressed with the Junior High faculty--nearly convinced. 

At 5:00pm, the Lehi High School assistant principal called out my name. I answered every question to the best of my ability. I didn't particularly feel it was my strongest interview and I recall thinking--oh no, I lost this one. Right then, he paused and said, "I don't know if I am allowed to do this right now but...I want to offer you the job; you are what we are looking for...." he continued to go on telling me various opportunities--assisting COACHING TRACK & VBALL, teaching AMERICAN HISTORY (one of my favorite subjects) and a government class. He continued to inform me that they would keep me on after my internship as well, if I so desired. (WHAT?!!!) After picking my jaw off the floor (He still had to interview for two more hours, how was he doing this?), I told him I needed to think about it. 

That night, the reality started to hit me:

This next year, if I decide to take the job, will be REALLY DEMANDING.  I don’t know if I want this or am ready. I am being thrown into the fire with my own classroom full of teenagers who are not much younger than I am.  I do not shudder with fear but it is a little nerve racking not knowing the unexpected. For goodness sakes, I look like one of their peers!!!!! I still feel like all of my dreams are ahead of me.  I always want to do more and be more. How do I know I am doing and being the right thing?

How is time flying so quickly? Wasn’t it just yesterday, I was running around as an abnormally social freshman? Now look at me, I am married, about to finish my college career, and hired to start my own career. A part of me wants to enjoy classes, attend the Jerusalem study abroad again, and be in my early 20’s forever. I usually do very nicely with change but this one is not sitting as well. I do not want to separate from everything I have known for so many years and yet I am doing it all within months. 

****

The next morning, right after my 8am class, the principals started making their calls. It was like a game of risk. If you said "No" then they would quickly call their next choice. Decisions had to be made. My top two schools called me INSTANTLY(at the same time) and offered me a job. I called Carson after each phone call. I was very grateful for the offers but I am too much of a maximizer to enjoy decision making. Deep down, I knew what I wanted. I told Lehi High School that I wanted in.

And just like that, 

I joined the ranks as one of Utah Counties newest and youngest high school teachers.

THREE days ago, I had no idea what I was going to do AND NOW I have a job and a plan. This job will allow Carson to get through school without having to continue working like a mad-man on top of it. It will be a great blessing for our little family.

The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity. 

Ayn Rand 

For me, this job is one of those rungs of opportunity--I am still nervous but I feel at peace. I have to remind myself that I was prepared by some of the best for this job. I am very passionate and fully capable.  I will make mistakes but that is how we learn. I never planned on teaching but for some reason, I was drawn here. I need to be here at this time. I have no idea how long I will be doing this or where I will be in a few years but there are some special people I need to meet and things I need to do. I am excited to use my creativity and love for learning to help others achieve their dreams. Education opens up doors to possibilities. Most importantly, I am excited to love the students. And although I will be: leading my own classroom, responsible for the education of hundreds of students, and will have no life for the next year---I can do hard things. The students don't know it yet but they are relying on me to not give up on them.

I have never seen Lehi High School but Google says this is it!

What are the next "rungs of opportunity" on your ladder?

Honesty

"He that loseth his honesty hath nothing else to lose." 
John Lyly

5 Dysfunctions of an Effective Team

1. Absence of Trust

2. Fear of Conflict

3. Lack of Commitment

4. Avoidance of Accountability 

5. Inattentive to Results 

If one does not have honesty, they will sabotage an effective team.

1. A dishonest person will not gain trust from anyone,

2. An individual is often dishonest because they fear conflict. (Ironically, dishonesty leads to more conflict.)

3. If one is honest to themselves and the team, they will commit. 

4. An honest person makes realistic, honorable accountability despite the amount of it.

5. If a teammate is dishonest, they do not have their mind set on the right results. 

 

Honesty is one of the fundamental attributes leadership and success.

William Shakespeare said it best, "No legacy is so rich as honesty." 

Even the smallest things can make a big difference.

(Although you may not receive a cake with your face on it every time you display honesty, others truly do watch you. Be a positive example.)

Becoming a quadruple Y group takes work.  As Brandon mentioned, trust, proper conflict resolvement, commitment, accountability, and members focused on the results will aid to a better team. As a team, we are all committed and accountable. My group members work hard and I know that everyone is dedicated to the group. The main factors that put a damper on our group project involves outside sources, for example, we could not get ahold of the state hospital. However, one thing I feel our group can work on is being more unified. A big part of that results from our rough beginning. We all called and talked to different organizations so our efforts were going in many directions. Now that we have joined Circle K, we are transforming our individual projects into one group project. Now that we have joined one, we are all still striving to get on the same page. We all have such busy schedules (thankfully we communicate effectively) causing us all to work on the project at different times and different paces. We just need to remember to continue to distribute the load evenly among our varying schedules and work demands. I feel that as our project picks up, it will be much easier to be unified and to appropriately channel our energy and excitement towards a solidified project.

From the moment I heard the instructions for our group project, I was convinced that I would love this class. I love leadership and I love service. Yes, I am doing my part. At first, I was worried my group members would not be as into the project. Thankfully, we all are. The work load has been distributed and we are figuring out a way to make it work. Everyone has been great to do their part. Some weeks one group member will do more than the others but it switches because we all have different strengths and we are trying to maximize on all of them. 

Teamwork can be the greatest blessing or a kick in the pants, depending on the attitudes of the team. For me personally, I am a huge advocate of teamwork. From playing sports my whole life, living in a family (my favorite "team"), working in school and my various jobs, I am very well acquainted with the concept of a team.  

TEAM 

T- Together 

E- Everyone

A- Achieves 

M- More

            -Anonymous

This short experience beautifully exemplifies what it means to be apart of a team:

"Today I read a story about an anthropologist who proposed a game to the kids in an African tribe. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told the kids that who ever got there first won the sweet fruits. When he told them to run they all took each others hands and ran together, then sat together enjoying their treats. When he asked them why they had run like that as one could have had all the fruits for himself they said: Ubuntu, how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?"
* Ubuntu in the Xhosa culture means "I am because we are". 

When we work together as a team, we can all be happy. It is the selfishness that causes teams to break. If we are one, we will not fail, we succeed. 

Ta Da!

Preface: 

 I cannot remember the last time I felt the spirit so strongly, so consecutively in a lecture. Tamara is fabulous. I greatly admire her enthusiasm and passion for life. Working 80 hours a week, being a mother and a wife...and I thought my life was hard! I thoroughly enjoyed her stories and real-life application. 

This one is for you, Tamara:

Mrs. Multi-Tasker

I am the QUEEN of multitasking. I am constantly doing two-three-four things at once. Cook dinner while writing homework. Writing letters while watching Modern Family. Talking on the phone while sending an email. Or working while doing my voice homework. Do I need to change this...YES! For most of those things, I will. ESPECIALLY when it deals with giving people your full attention. They deserve it. I have ceased multitasking when I am on the phone or engaging in conversation with another. It really does make all the difference because, as Tamara suggested, we cannot give our all in what we are doing if we are constantly juggling our attention. For things like cooking dinner and doing homework...I admit I will keep doing it but I can do it!

Why is it so hard to slow down?! The world and our culture expect us to live at high speed...just to keep up. We must do everything and be everything, there is no time to sit around. Mormon women, in particular, are known to have this "syndrome" of being and doing everything. From cooking meals from scratch, cleaning, keeping children alive and happy, going to school, having a career, serving everyone in the neighborhood, being updated on the latest books and trends, having a healthy marriage, dressing to the nines, and being well traveled and experienced, etc.etc.etc.

I struggle with this. I feel if I am sitting down for more than a minute, I must be doing something productive, something worthwhile(and at times I do not do something productive, I put on my punching gloves and beat myself senseless.) I can always be better and do better. I feel as if I need to be anxiously engaged in so many things...I just become anxious.I need to focus more on where I am than where I am going.M

As Tamara mentioned, we must change our attitudes. We are conducting an orchestra of our lives not juggling. It is okay if the trumpets (school,work,nurturing) is dominating the music at the moment, we just need to create balance and harmony. We must check our motives and simplify our lives. Humility and gratitude are the key components for time management. For me, I need to prioritize my time. What is most valuable? What can be limited? If I do too much, I enjoy too little. It is okay if I did not save the world and have dinner in time by 6:00. I need to celebrate my accomplishments and not beat myself up for the neglected tasks of the day. 

For example,
My TA DAs of the day: I have gone to all of my class, worked, ran a few errands, worked out at the gym, completed some homework, helped my husband with an application, and it is only 6:24pm. TA DA!!!!!

To live life is to love. Living life entails great adventures, self-discovery, laughing, crying, losing, gaining, learning, experiencing, and hopefully, a whole lot of loving. Loving God, Loving yourself, Loving those you spend a lifetime knowing.