Stepping Stones

When getting married, two independent souls, lives, and habits are intertwined together. Lucky for me, I knew my husband for six years before we got married. I felt I knew everything about my husband. We had been through countless experiences, circumstances, and stages in life together. We knew each other so well that it came to a point in our courtship that if we did not progress, we would regress. We decided to take the plunge. Transitioning into marriage was so smooth for us. I did not know I could experience the happiness that I have thus far. Marrying Carson was the best decision I have ever made.

Now that we are married, we are presented with opportunities to discuss what we want for our own families. Naturally, two people come into marriage with different opinions and habits--no two people are the same (take it from an identical twin). Even though we had known each other for years before we got married, we are still different and we were raised differently. Those differences make it exciting and fun! Unfortunately, some people can really struggle with this. As discussed in class, different situations call for different strategies for dealing with the differences. 

A small example: Eating Dinner. For four years, I have been in college doing my own thing for dinner each day. I often multitasked, attempting to conquer many things at once. I did not realize I did this. Carson loves to enjoy dinner with little distraction. I know it really means a lot to Carson when we sit down and enjoy dinner together without homework, the phone, the tv, or other distractions. 

I had decisions. A. Be stubborn, defensive, or combative and refuse to change this little habit.  
B. Ignore the differences. C. Address the issue and make the necessary changes. Even though there are many excuses and reasons for not eating dinner together without distractions, I know it means a lot to him, so I will do it. 

I did not try and compromise or compete. Instead, I decided to do dinner his way. Guess what? I like it better. Although, it requires a conscious effort on my part, I prefer his way. Our dinners are a time we can enjoy heartfelt and engaging conversations. Besides, he is the most important thing to me and by doing these little things that mean so much to him. We are both benefiting. Look what I would have missed out if I attempted to resolve this difference another, more hard-headed way? 

I see these opportunities as a chance for growth rather than conflict. The way we manage decisions and conflicts, can either make the differences/trials that will naturally arise in marriage a stepping-stone or a stumbling block.

May we always strive to make our challenges stepping-stones rather than stumbling blocks.

Stand for Something

My husband and I were talking about the concept of change two months ago and it was brought up again the other night as we were eating dinner. Change is a fascinating concept. We all have the power to make changes. The scale and magnitude of those change vary but change occurs nonetheless. 
I often think about what I want to and need to do in my life. I only have one shot. How can I best live it? What can I do to leave this world a better place?  I want to make a difference.  I have so many dreams and ambitions. I want to start a non-profit organization, I want to create programs and opportunities to aid struggling youth, I want to teach the youth, I want to perform numerous services across the world, I want to help my husband start a company, but most importantly, I want to be a mother.  Women of today are feeling greater pulls to leave the home to start a professional career.  At this time, I feel mixed emotions. I feel liberated to  accomplish many of my dreams and goals in this big, exciting world--make a lasting impact as the world would define it. I also, however, want to raise and rear strong children within the bounds of my own home.

Gordon B. Hinckley stated: "Women who make a house a home make a far greater contribution to society than those who command large armies or stand at the head of impressive corporations. Who can put a price tag on the influence a mother has on her children, a grandmother on her posterity, or aunts and sisters on their extended family?...The decisions made by the women of this generation will be eternal in their consequences. May I suggest that the mothers of today have no greater opportunity and no more serious challenge than to do all they can to strengthen the homes of America."

Some may think we need to contribute an invention, an ideology, or something that , when we die, we will have left the world a gift--a personal mark on the world. Others think importance resides in fame and popularity. I recently read on the MSN homepage, the top 40 "Tweeters" in the entire world. The individuals ranged from J.Lo to Rhinna. The person with the highest number of followers, 37 million, is...you guessed, Justin Beiber.  37 million. Seriously? 37 million care to receive an hourly update of a person that they have never met nor seen in real life. With new technological advances, the opportunities are endless to be heard and seen by millions. Do we have to be known by many to be an important, influential leader and person?

What we desperately need today on all fronts—in our homes and communities, in schoolrooms and boardrooms, and certainly throughout society at large—are leaders, men and women who are willing to stand for something. 

CONCLUSION: I do not need to be known by the entire world to be significant. I do not need to have "a few million followers on twitter" (nor would I EVER want that ;) to have my voice heard or my life esteemed important. 

I can live a purposeful, impactful. I may not be able to change the entire world but I can change the world of my children, my husband, my friends, my neighbors, and all who interact with me. I can do this by being a woman of virtue, honesty, integrity, strength, and purity. By standing for something and I living with meaning. I can cause ripples of positive influences in a pool of generations. I can be the change that I want to see in the world. 

"Reformation of the world begins with the reformation of self."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

Good vs. Evil

Grandma Jackson would tell me bedtime stories as a little girl. Here is one:

 

Once upon a time there was a young girl named Rose. She lived with her evil stepmother and step sister named Cherisa. They lived in a green cottage buried in the woods.  The step mother cherished Cherisa but despised Rose. Rose was regularly ordered to perform all of the household chores. One evening, the step mother demanded Rose to fetch some water from the well. Rose pleaded with her step mother to come with her. It was dark and cold. The woods were crawling with treacherous beasts of every kind. The step mother dismissed the plea and handed her the bucket. 

Rose grabbed her raggedy shawl and walked outside. The well was about a mile away from the cottage. To stop her teeth from chattering and her mind from wandering she began to quietly hum. Knowing her step-mother would not let her in the warm home without water, she pressed onward. She gathered the water from the well and started to make her way back to the cottage.

In the distance, she saw a dark figure along the path. Frightened, Rose began to panic. As Rose came closer, the moon light illuminated the pathway. The dark figure was an elderly woman, feeble and weak. The old woman stretched out her gnarled fingers and begged, "I am so thirsty, please can I have some of your water?" Rose, without hesitation, replied: "Of course you can have some of my water." She lowered her ladle into the bucket and let her drink. The old woman graciously thanked her and shuffled her way back into the woods. Rose felt a warmth radiate inside of her. She made her way back to cottage as soon as possible. Unaware to Rose, the old woman magically turned back into a beautiful princess and quietly followed Rose until she got home to ensure she made it safely.

Upon entering the door, the step-mother asked, "What took you so long?" As Rose began to answer, diamonds, rubies, and other jewels came out of her mouth and fell on the floor. The step mother was astonished. Without questioning, the step mother sent Cherisa out the next morning to get water from the well.

Cherisa made her way to well and, again, saw the old woman hunched over near the well, covered in her ratty shawl. She too, stretched out her gnarled fingers and begged, " I am so thirsty, please can I have some of your water?" Cherisa refused, "Old woman, I do not have time to give you some of my water. I do not have time to refill my bucket." She pushed the woman aside, gathered the water, and left. 

Upon entering the house, the step-mother awaited a reply. Instead of diamonds, rubies,and jewels, out came frogs, toads, and polliwogs. They both shrieked, and left the frogs hopping on the floor.

 

Moral of the Story: You will be rewarded for your kind words and deeds.